I might eat you

So, I licked your foot today. I don't know why except to say that I could eat your whole body in one bite. You are scrumptious. When I licked your foot I was surprised because it was salty and I thought, "how odd?". Then it occured to me your dad has the skankiest, smelliest, sweatiest feet on the planet. You must've gotten those from him. Sometimes in the car I can smell them when he has socks and shoes on. I feel bad for the person in front of us if we go to a movie and it has stadium seating because I know they will suffer with his foot by their head. Your foot on the other hand is adorable and sweet. Salty with dew drops of baby sweat nectar. I will bottle it and save it for later.

You Stink

So, I love you but you are smelly. You fart like a plumber. You poo out of your diaper constantly. Yesterday you pooped in the bath and it was the first time I noticed that you really understood that when I said, "Yukk! Gross!", it was because of something you did and you started to laugh. I couldn't help laughing too.

Baby's first trip to Utah

We went to Utah for Maren's shower. It was your first trip there and first time on a plane. You were great. It was your first time in a snowstorm and your first time in Grandma's house. We all had a great time the whole week. Grandma Dava hurt her back and was on medicine that made her crazy. We all laughed at her. Auntie Maren looked round in the belly and cute. Your new little cousin is supposed to be born near mommy's birthday and I will perform a fourth term abortion if she steals it from me. You met a bunch of cousins for the first time too and the ones whom didn't get to meet you were so jealous of the ones graced with your hoboliciousness that they stabbed their eyes out. Cece was by far the most crazy about you. She talked about coming to meet you and couldn't wait. See, she could care less about me. She likes me fine but never really cared if I came or went but she was crazy about the idea of you from the start. She would lift up my shirt and talk to my pregnant belly and ask you to come out so she could hold you. It was so cute and I was so happy to have something about me that interested her. When she met you she was so excited. She wanted to watch you eat and get you dressed in your pajamas and put your pacifier in your mouth. Her mommy, Auntie Steph told her she was good at taking care of babies and her eyes lit up. If she likes Auntie Maren's baby more we will take her out.
Also, A hightlight for me was having Auntie Kerry take photographs of you. She takes great pictures and I was so happy she wanted to do it. She spent all day taking them and she didn't even care when you peed and pooped on her blankets and carpet. They turned out so cute I am so excited to get them.

My Wolverine

I have always called you a wolverine. From the time I felt you in my stomach it felt like you were going nuts in there and clawing me. Your dad and I would wallk along the beach path every morning my entire pregnancy and you'd jump around and go bananas. I would say, "She's ripping down the wallpaper in there and hanging from the chandelier." I dubbed you my "vicious, vicious wolverine". Now that you are on the outside your noises only reinforce my nickname for you. From the baby monitor while you sleep come the noises of a cage at the zoo. Someone would think I was raising a pack of wolves in the room. You drool and eat your fist and for the first month of your life would scratch your face so badly that you always had red welts and marks with dried blood. Awww, my sweet sweet little wolverine.

Cold Hands

Just like your mama you hate cold hands. I would yell at your dad if he touched my bare skin with his always- ice -cold hands. you are the same. you wimper and cry out if anyone puts the clammy mittens on you. The other day I took off your clothes and laid you on the changing pad for a few minutes while I rinsed out the tub. you were happy sitting there and staring at your croched dachshund. Then I brought you out to grandpa to see because you looked so chubby and cute. I had him hold you while I ran your bath. Well, gramps had cold hands and you shrieked and started to cry. he adjusted his hold on you so that he was only holding you with his arms and you would relax. With that combination of relaxation and the cold hands you commenced to pee all over him. He was soaked. He had to change his shirt, pants and underwear and he went and took a shower. That'll teach him to touch you with frosty the snowhands.

Everyone loves a Hobo

Why is it that everyone loves a hobo? The appeal is of being a Hobo for Halloween is universal. You get to be messy and smelly, you get to have a cigar in your mouth and you don't get into trouble for it, you don't have to wear shoes outside, and you get candy for it.
Because your mom was the originator of the hobo-chic world view, atleast in our family, it was a given that you would be a hobo for your first Halloween. You are a wolverine, yes, but first and foremost a Hobobaby. The OG Hobobaby. I had so much fun making your costume and shamelessly used you to get candy from strangers. Hours of labor entitles me to this liberty. Also, since you were just over 2 months old it was an opportunity to share you with the neighbors and aquaintences we don't see very often. People went crazy for you with your buck toothed pacifier cigar combo and your bindle full of baby toys and mini booze bottles. It was so much fun I can't wait till next year.